


Waters Past

by pandaspots



Category: Original Work
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is a dangerous thing to throw oneself entirely into</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waters Past

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like 2008  
> i was 17 and very emo  
> don't look at it too closely

_"I wanted you to help me out of this, but now it’s too late. I no longer want to think that your embraces made me smile, nor that your kisses warmed me up in the dead cold winter nights. I’m drowning in all of this, your betrayal, my weaknesses, our confidences. I think everything that kept me alive was killing me too. My love for you put me amidst all this and all this now makes me lose the one thing I should really love._

_My life._

_MY life._

_MY LIFE!_

_I gave it up for you. I wanted you more than I wanted myself. I’d rather die than live. And you just throw it all away. All I needed to step into the coffin was your backstabbing._

_Silent._

_Patient._

_C_ _old._

_Merciless._

_Cold… That’s exactly how I feel now, in this chilly night. I need something to kill this pain of mine, but even if I drown it with alcohol and luxurious nights, it comes back. Kill. In latin languages, kill and death look the same. Maybe drowning in memories is the best course of action. Never think of me as weak, for I had the guts to go through all our pictures and notes and little love tokens without burning them._

_But also, yes, label me as that too, for I can’t go past your memories nor your house; I just want to barge in and create a scandal. Maybe I should keep the idea of drowining in the good memories, the ones from when we were happy. From when I though I was living. From when, in fact, I was dying unwittingly. Did you know I found a boy whom we could adopt? No? Maybe because you were too busy plotting how to finish me off. Maybe now it’s too late to talk about this, River Styx’s waters call my name, and I clamor for peace. Farewell."_

* * *

 

These words echoed in his head as he headed to the bridge.

He knew exactly what his beloved had said. Did he never forget anything? That was once. He never saw or spoke to that girl anymore. He didn’t even recall she existed until she reappeared in his life in the one moment their relationship couldn’t take any extra strain.

And there he was, sitting on the edge of the bridge, his love, his boyfriend, hanging, legs dangling over, body shaking with sobs.

"Hey…"

He looked up and stood, eyes glistening with tears, staring at him from the other side of the safety fence. He ran, and the other was almost faster.

"Let me go!"

"No! I’m not losing you!"

"You already lost me, you utter imbecile! Two years, remember?"

"I didn’t even remember her!"

"You’re lying!"

"I didn’t even know her name!"

"You’re a liar!"

"I’m not letting you go! If you jump, take me with you! Take me with you so I won’t need to jump after you."

His boyfriend stood there, trembling. He didn’t know what to say. He had nothing to say.

"If you really want to jump, drag me with you. Take me. Please."

More silence.

"I love you, and you know it. I love you. Even if you’d rather think I’m lying, you know I love you."

"I…"

* * *

 

_"Two bodies were found today floating in the Hudson River. The two males are yet unidentified, and they carried no ID. Legists took the body to the Morgue for identification. They were clinging to each other, and investigators believe it’s a couple, which could indicate double suicide. Cause of death suspected as drowning, NYPD to confirm, seeing as this could well be part of the killing spree that has terrorized New York for the past two years."_


End file.
